Post The Fifteenth: I can't get no...

It was only two weeks ago I posted on a forum about being dissatisfied.  It seemed to resolve and yet only a week and a half later (after seeming resolution) it's back with a vengeance.

A few weeks back I wrote some goals, things I'd regret not doing if I was to die... they were:

* Finish two craft projects I'm working on - one for my friend's baby (now completed) and one for my sister's baby.
* Have a book published. Although I decided later that even continuing to have articles published would probably suit me, so I guess continuing to work on my writing and be able to call myself a published writer.
* Be a loving, devoted wife to my wonderful husband.
* Be a great mother to my four (hopefully more!) children.
* Be a good home-maker.
* Teach all my children about God and have them following Him.
* LOVE!!!
* Teach my kids what they need to know about life.
* Learn to speak Spanish fluently.
* Give home-made or hand-made, meaningful gifts, not commercial crap.
* Eat YUMMY nutritious food.
* Laugh lots!
* Have fun.
* Be silly.
* Cuddle and kiss and tickle and touch my kids and my husband.
* Introduce my kids to great books and music.
* Dance and sing and not care what anyone else thinks about it.
* Take a zillion photos of my kids. And my husband and extended family.
* Spend heaps of time with my husband and children.
* Stop being cranky with my family and telling them to go away. (**Note. I don't often tell them literally "go away" although I've been known to on my worst sleep deprived days. But I don't like being a cranky, yelling Mummy, something I'm working on.)
* Go on a missions trip to South America.
* Be a Proverbs 31 woman.
* Live and die without regrets.

I want to be a part of something bigger than just being a homemaker and bringing up children.  I'm not saying those things aren't important because they are important.  I'm definitely not saying I want to stop being those things because I don't.  But I want to be more. 


Perhaps I need to be my own best friend and get some perspective.  Maybe I just need to get better at seeing my small tasks from God's perspective.  I need to work out what gifts God has given me and the work God has given me and stop trying to be someone I am not.  If I know who I am I'll also know who I'm not.  I think.